Pete's Baseball Quotes

The Science of Baseball

Bill Lee, on the hemispheres of the brain:
You have a left and a right. The left side controls the right half of your body, and the right side controls the left half. Therefore, lefthanders are the only people in their right mind.

Ray Miller:
There ain't a left-hander in the world that can run a straight line. It's the gravitational pull on the axis of the earth that gets 'em.

David Broder, political writer:
Almost everything wrong in American society stems from the DH rule... it is a symbol of the permissiveness that has eroded our values." (Seattle Times 6/8/97)

Jack Aker, Cleveland pitching coach, on the proliferation of homeruns:
It's the underground nuclear testing. Because of that, all gravity is leaving the earth. And so are the baseballs.

Fred Talbot, Seattle Pilots pitcher:
All the time it's fasten your goddamn seatbelt. But how come every time I read about one of those plane crashes, there's 180 people on board and all 180 die? Didn't any of them have their seatbelt fastened?

Bob Uecker:
The average age in Sun City, Arizona is deceased.

John Lowenstein:
The secret to keeping winning streaks going is to maximize the victories while at the same time minimizing the defeats.

Dan Quisenberry:
I've seen the future and it's much like the present, only longer.

Brett Butler, ascribing the Giants slow start in 1990 to Satan:
I just think when there is an abundance of [born-again] believers brought together, at times there is going to be a war come out of it. I think sometimes Satan attacks those strong with the Lord.

George F. Will:
Systems equilibriate as they improve. (mw 316)

Yogi Berra, asked if he wanted his pizza cut into four or six pieces:
You better make it fours. I don't think I could eat six pieces.

Yogi Berra, asked his cap size:
I don't know. I'm not in shape yet.

Yogi Berra, explaining why the sun makes Yankee Stadium's left field difficult to play:
It gets late early out here.

Mark Fidrych:
That ball has a hit in it, so I want it to get back in the ball bag and goof around with the other balls in there. Maybe it'll learn some sense and come out as a pop out next time.

Pete's Baseball Quotes